THE NEGATIVE EFFECT OF BROKEN FAMILY TO THE CHILDREN.

       THE NEGATIVE EFFECT OF BROKEN FAMILY TO THE CHILDREN.

                                                                The End.

The idea of a family is one that always sticks together regardless of the situation, but that is hardly true in practice. Families are going to have disagreements, fights and even become estranged.

We are family members, but we are individuals, too. Sometimes, our beliefs divide us. Other times, our personalities don't line up, and we have a conflict because of that. Sometimes, our family member does something we just don't like. Other times, you may have been pulled away from a family member as a child, and now want to reconnect with them now that you are older.

Then, there are times where nothing bad happened, but you just drifted apart from certain family members, and now want to rekindle that old relationship you used to have.

Estrangement happens all the time, and for various reasons. Sometimes, all it takes is an apology to make things right. Other times, it takes more effort to repair a relationship. Sometimes, the relationship may not be repairable, or it may require too much effort to repair.

In this post, I'd like to bring to an end our discussion  on the negative effect of broken family to the children and here is the continuation of the articles.  

8. DISTRUSTING ADULTS

Their whole world seems to have fallen apart, the two adults they trust most in the world now no longer seem to be united, are no longer a team, that’s how kids may perceive your divorce. They banked on you two to be together for life, trusted this, it’s all they’ve known. So, when you divorce, it could trigger a great amount of distrust and animosity, perhaps initially towards you and your former other half but towards adults in general.

This can really affect your child’s development, which if not nipped in the bud, could negatively impact your child’s life, lead to trust issues, affect teacher-student relationships and more intimate relationship when your kid becomes an adult.

Distrust is event more prevalent amongst divorced kids that then have to deal with their mom/dad’s new partner. These kids are unlikely to take to their parent’s new partner, it may seem as if this new person in their life is trying to replace/act as a parental figure, which kids of divorce parents obviously don’t particularly want. Eventually, if all’s handled with care, these kids should eventually warm to this new person in their lives.

9. ACADEMIC DEVELOPMENT

Schooling’s vitally important at all stages of your child’s development, but when your kid is still a kid, it’s integral – can help shape his/her personality and entire future for that matter. Therefore, anything that negatively affects your child’s academic development needs to be addressed.

One of the most common negative effects of divorce on kids is that their schooling can be severely disrupted. It’s understandable, they’ve got plenty of thoughts bouncing around in their little heads, negative feelings, worries, sadness, anxiety, you name it, and they’re probably experiencing it at the time of divorce. It’s because their comfort has been disturbed, parents that are their rock are no longer together. Because it’s understandable that divorce is likely to affect your child’s development in some way or another, it could be poor grades, acting out in class, even becoming violent; most parents bury their heads in the sand, and just hope their kids’ academic development will pick up eventually. But it’s essential that you address the issue, counseling, extra tuition, anything, get your kid to focus on something else as a means of distraction from what’s going on at home.

10. SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

This one’s extreme, this one’s rare, but it is a possibility. Suicidal thoughts arise because of depression, kids who feel everything in life is going downhill, a situation they can’t envisage getting any better.

Again, this serious state of depression can be extremely difficult to diagnose and treat in kids. You and medical professionals will only come to know of these thoughts if it’s all communicated to you by you kid, kids are still developing communication skills, so this could present a problem. There aren’t also any distinctive indicators that point to your child having these kinds of feelings. Depression, anxiety, mood disorders could all build up to these kind of feelings but you’d expect your child to display at least one or two of these problems after divorce.

These feelings point to a serious psychiatric disorder, one that must be addressed. It’s commonly associated with adolescent children going through such emotional turmoil, but younger children have been known to have such feelings.

11. DEPRESSION

Full-blown depression is a serious mental health disorder and one that can lead to a whole host of other things. Depression can be debilitating at the best of times for adults but for kids, it could very well become unbearable.

Even if your divorce is super messy and traumatic for everyone involved, it’s unlikely that your child’s likely to spiral into a full-blown really serious state of depression. But depression doesn’t always have to be like that, get to that stage for it to have a negative effect on your child’s development. It could affect the way your kid socializes, interacts with others, makes friends; feelings of negativity just get bottled up and could then explode or result in other things which could be disastrous.

Depression that affects you, maternal depression could also negatively impact your child’s upbringing and the way you go about raising your child. If you’re raising your child and feel like you could be spiraling into depression, seek help from a medical professional immediately.

12. IRRATIONAL FEARS AND ANXIETY

Becoming anxious over every little thing, social anxiety disorder is a very real and can be a very serious mental health condition that can have a debilitating effect on a person’s life. It’s often an irrational fear of everyday things or situations, situations that people without this disorder won’t worry at all about. Many adults suffer from anxiety, sometimes crippling social anxiety but kids suffer with anxiety too. It’s often not diagnosed in kids it’s commonly just passed off as shyness. But if nothing’s done through counseling, or cognitive behavioral therapy, it can take over every aspect of your child’s life; leaving the house to go to school could become unbearable, just talking to someone on the phone could be too much to handle.

Again, it’s the case of kids blaming themselves for the divorce; it’s these kids that are more likely to suffer from this psychological problem. As a kid, your psychological wiring can still be altered due to emotional events, so the prospect of your child suffering from anxiety during or after a divorce is a strong possibility.

13. LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE

This is kind of an expansion on the previous point. Shyness and lack of self-confidence go hand in hand when it comes to describing feelings your child may experience as a result of a divorce.

It can be terribly distressing for you, the parent, to have to witness your child’s personality changing as a result of the divorce. Noticing your child withdrawing into his/her own shell is not something you want your child to experience; you want your child to have full confidence, but after a divorce, this confidence could take a knock.

Again, this could occur because your child is blaming his/herself for parents separating. Everything was going well, life seemed to be in control, happy, but divorce sparks the end of that for a lot of kids, they no longer feel like they’re content with life that things are no longer going swimmingly.

Lack of self-confidence tends to become evident at school, when your child doesn’t contribute and tends not to want to socialize.

14. SHYNESS

Shyness and lack of social skills is a common trait that kids from a broken home acquire. This is more common with kids who are caught in the middle of a messy divorce. After a divorce, like it or not, your kid’s comfort levels with be affected. You want your child to feel comfortable in his/her own home, but of course, something drastic has changed one parent’s missing from the picture and is no longer a constant presence in your child’s life.

This drastic change in your child’s life could cause your child to withdraw into his/her own shell. It may be due to the feelings of guilt and shame your child finding a way to blame his/herself for the divorce. This could very well cause your child to develop a shy personality.

As a parent, try to nip it in the bud as soon as possible; being shy is fine, but being overly shy could affect pretty much all aspects of your child’s life, something you certainly don’t want to happen.

15. HEALTH PROBLEMS

Much of the health problems that affect kids from broken homes are related to mental health, the psychology side of things, but we’re going to touch upon that throughout this article. If your kid’s young, still developing, divorce could result in your child suffering from health problems that are more obvious, easier to treat and diagnose.

Frequent headaches are one such problem. Emotional childhood problems are a major cause of headaches; it’s the unhappiness of it all; going through the emotional ringer so to speak, that causes these headaches.

Asthma is also associated with parental divorce. It’s the psychological stress of the situation that could lead to the onset and suffering of asthma, and if your child already has asthma, it could aggravate the condition.

Kids who live with their mum or a female career after the divorce are more likely to get help for these health problems are more likely to get professional help from a doctor.

                                                                                                                                             The End.

‘DecencyWrites’.